This post is mainly for me to get my feelings out. I don't expect a comment. This summer I wrote a post about getting off my seizure med, and how Wayne and I were going TTC. Well, we didn't really start till Oct, and this is where the story starts. My cycles have been a little wonky since getting off my BC the end of June, and my OB/GYN said it would be that way for awhile, and that it could take 6 mo-1 year to get pregnant. Well, I am already 35, and on a time frame in my opinion! My last cycle was Oct.11...today was day 51 with no period, negative urine preg. tests, and a neg. blood test that was taken yesterday. When the nurse told me today that my blood test was Neg. my emotions took over and was very upset and frustrated. She said she didn't know why I had not had a period, and that I should have by now..Well, DUH!!!!!!!! So, the next step is to have a chat with Dr.on Mon. I will def. have questions to ask, and to see what we need to do. I am trying not to be worried, but it's hard not to be. I realize I have not given it enough time yet, and my patience is getting the best of me. Wayne and I are very adamant on some things, and this whole "baby" plan. We don't want to do any type of Infertility Treatments, period. I will not put my body through it, and we can' do it financially. Now Clomid is one thing, but IVF I will not do. I would rather give up selflessly and look in to Adoption, before I go down the IVF route. That is just us, and our opinion, and hoping this does not offend anyone!
I was bummed the rest of the day, upset, and when I got home, cried to Wayne. I have so many "what ifs" and down on myself about my weight, etc. I wish we could have started sooner, but unfortunately, I was on seizure med, and made the decision not to get pregnant while on it. I don't know what is in store for us with this new journey we are embarking on. My good , sweet friend, made the comment today that it is "God's timing"...I truly believe that, and will be reminding myself of that A LOT! Emotions get the best of us women, and it is very hard sometimes. I would love to announce on my blog in a few months, that we are expecting, but I know that may not happen. It may never happen, and I know that God has HIS reasons.
We have seriously talked about Adoption before, and that is still on the table, if I can't get pregnant naturally. One step at a time, and with prayers, and my friends, and family we will go on a journey with lots of HOPE...
2 comments:
Keeping you guys in my prayers, Brandi. Sometimes God's timing is frustrating, but in my life, without fail, I always look back and see that His way was the best way all along. :)
Thank you Ryan! So sweet! And yes, HIS way is the best way! :0
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